Lyme disease, cognitive impairment and the battle for words .

I search the internet for words to help ,so my ,clients , friends and family can understand what damage has happen to my brain because of late stage nuerological Lyme disease. These are things I struggle with daily . It's very hard for me to write this , as I am a prideful person , but I am ready and I want to be part of life again , and communicate with others, to laugh again , and create my beloved art work . 

* cognitive impairment .....I may not understand what you are saying to me , you may need to say it in 

                                         Different way . 

* attention and memory loss ....there is no way I will understand you if you talk fast and I may need to  

                                                 Write things down as I forget a lot of information . 

*slow process speed .....I can not answer you fast and may need help along the way 

*word finding difficulty .....this is a big one for me , I have a very hard time with finding words . They 

                                         Seem loss and come out wrong 

*auditory processing difficulties .... If there is music or noise in the back ground , I may not understand 

                                                      Your words 

* Mental Flexibility .... I can not multi task , it is so very hard for me 

*speed of information processing .... Please talk slow and clearly for me to understand you . 

* language ..... When I write the written word ,  I may skip words and spell things wrong . You may 

                         Need to read between the lines . I am always open to questions at any time about anything . 

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Learning to trust yourself

Creating art requires a massive amount of energy and brain power. I am struggling in both departments. My new normal is all about energy management . If I over do just a inch over the line , my body and brain crumble under my constant battle with Lyme disease and co- infections. This has become so frustrating ,one day what puts me over the edge can be the exact opposite of the next day . It's very easy to know when I have cross this line , my body screams with pain and nuerlogical symtoms . The hard part is listening to my body before it gets to that magic line of no return . 

  

My heart may say let's draw today and my body says no I am in to much pain . The next day comes and my heart says let's draw today and my brain says no , to much pressure and inflammation . So what my heart says does not often win .  

My heart won three times in the last couple months . Good thing I am soooo stubborn and my heart never stops asking . 

" Enzo "

What would pulmonary rehablition have to do with a beautiful dog like " Enzo " ? I use to paint eight hours a days and never ever think twice about it . It just was ! I took that gift very much for granted. Not any more ! When I started pulmonary rehab I could barely walk I was so weak, plus my motor skills were not working right . I was scared at how fragile I had become . After many painful hours of rehablition  and a amazing staff to support me , I am proud to say I am walking on the treadmill . It still hurts to move my body , but I am making forward motion . Pulmonary rehablition has given  me the courage and strength to go in my studio and paint on " Enzo " .  I have learn it is ok to paint for a hour , it is even ok to paint just for 15 minutes . It's all about building up my strength to paint . Thank you " Enzo" for reminding me it is only about the journey, not how far or how long you have been on the road . 

What ! A eagle feather ?

What does a eagle feather have to do with creating a beloved portrait ? It is a powerful tool that I use on every commission portrait I create . Prisma color pencils and graphite pencils leave small fragments of color behind . Then these fragments can smudge and streak color across a portrait creating a mess . In comes the powerful eagle feather to the rescue. The feather is so light when swept across the portrait it removes all the pencil color fragments without them smudging. 

We have been blessed to have a nesting pair of eagles on oak island which is across the salt water bay from us . Every fall we make a trip in our kayaks to check under the great

nest to fine feathers. We have been very blessed to have found many feathers over the years. In the native Amercian culture ,  Eagle medicine is the power of the great spirit, the connection to the Devine. It is the ablity to live in the realm of spirit, and yet connected and balanced within the realm of the Earth . The feathers of the Eagle are considered to be the most sacred of healing tools. 

Eagle medicine is the gift we give ourselves to remind us of the of the freedom of the skies. Every time my hand holds my eagle feather and runs it over the sweet eyes of all the portraits I do I know deep in my soul how blessed we all are. 

Move it or lose it ....oh so true

"Move it or lose it "....I heard this quote many times growing up , always just listening and chugging happily forward in my life . Well now , become ill and you start hearing this quote in your head over and over again in all parts of your life . It's become a daily battle and war to " Move it " .  Maybe deep inside me somewhere this quote was screaming in my head keep drawing, do not lose that part of your brain, keep moving your pencils and never give up  your passion for dogs . My goal for 2014 is to complete 4 pencil portraits a month and build up my strength to paint . I am already short on my goal this month .....treatment has been hard . Failure ? Nope ........because I am building my strength , I am " Moving it "

Thank you everyone for believing in me and my art ! 

Forward I go into 2014

For the first time in my career  I have group my images of my painting in a "folder" on my computer. Big steps forward for me. I still have more to go, but I have more than 50 images in my new "Brush to Canvas Series" Painting of Dogs. I am planning on sharing my images on Facebook and create another  album on there.

Of course I already spelled that album wrong and need to work out a way to fix this problem. Life is magical steps forward, only to fall down and brush ourselves off yet again. The older I get the harder it is to fall, but I am wiser now , knowing that this to is just part of life. Just shake it off and put one foot in front of the other. Forward motion is everything. 

Forward I go into 2014, picking up the pieces and

 working on how they all fit together. 

Christmas magic

Another Christmas has come and gone. Did everyone survive ? It was extra special to us as it was Pedey and Lu first Christmas. The Christmas tree was full of stuffy toys, balls and bones. They both got the hang of it mighty quick, and loved the wrapping paper. Most of the toys have been destuffed, bones have been chewed and balls played with. We shared the true magic of Christmas, the simple magic of Christmas watching their tails wagging and seeing the excitement in their eyes. Dogs always remind us , "simple is good and often can even be great ".

I did my best to complete my Christmas commissions. My illness ran me out of time on some , so gift certificates were sent. There were lots of emails and updates being sent to my clients as their portraits progress forward, then working as a team we would capture their pets essence on paper. 

I would like to take this time to thank my Christmas Clients for supporting my artwork. I hope each portrait brought smiles and joy this Holiday Season