Waiting for Enzo

I wonder if you long for something hard enough, will it come to you ? Enzo sits quietly in my studio waiting for me to come back. The paint is now dried on my palette and even a little dust is on my table . Has it been two weeks? Wow, I do not even know, maybe more. Down I go as the days blend into one long dark stretch of fighting the battle of multi infections in my central nervous system. I know you are there .......and I will keep fighting . In the mean time I can close my eyes and see your soft curls of fur .

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Enzo, layers of paint, layers of life.......

Layer # 2

I paint in layers, connecting one on top of the other, having a deep faith that all the layers of paint will work well together. Enzo first layer were shades of purple into soft sky blue . The next layer was built around the amazing color of Enzo eye. Layer two brought the colors of fall, orange, yellow, and green. Now the purple and soft sky blue dance underneath, the fall colors. I spent a long time enjoying the Faith, Courage and Wisdom I saw in Enzo eye. I love eyes, they to are full of the layers of life. The next layer of paint will be getting lost in all that  beautiful hair, the soft curls of burnt orange into dark brown . I LOVE COLOR. The nose will be yet another great layer of paint......shades of pink, brown, and orange. 

Thank you Enzo for the layers of life you share with me and the wonderful journey we still have to go.

Layer # 1

Dog Rescue , Lana Schippers, Beth Seman , Hope Cruser and Tracy Sepela

I finished my cocker spaniel sketch for Cocker Spaniel Rescue of New England Fundraiser . It is exciting to give back to the world of Dog Rescue . I have such admiration for the strength and passion I see in , Lana Schippers, Beth Seman, Hope Cruser and Tracy Sepela and so many more who volunteer. They are the heroes and the hope for so many dogs . 

We had the sweetest little cocker name " Baily " who was only full of kindness, and this donation will be made in his name . 

Thank you , and big pat on the back to all who work at Cocker Spaniel Rescue of New England ! You are amazing !  

Hard lessons that I needed to learn !

It has been 3 1/2 years since I have done a Art show . With Anita by my side , we packed the truck and off we went to Freeport Fall Festival . I brought all the tools I needed a walker ,cane and a big basket of hope . We requested that our tents be next to each other, and Anita was always right there. 

I can write " I DID IT " 

I can also write that I am a stubborn and passionate artist , which can be good or bad .  The big lesson here is that I have a very long journey of healing to take place before I do another show . 

Sunday night after the show , my neurological symtoms showed up loud and clear . They included tremors , slur speech and teeth chattering and so much pain . Off to bed I went only to have a nightmare that I was going back on IV Antibiotics, I woke up screaming "NO ! NO ! 

So my body was sending me a message , that I was now hearing loud and clear . IV Antibiotic was the worst year of my life and I am NOT doing that again !! NO more pushing ! Moderation , healing , and resting are my new goals. 

New goals are to be ,rest in my chair and sketch ,on my really good days ,to paint in my studio or work in my garden . I am listening to my lessons !!!!!!!

" The Boys "

Well I am learning that often when one leaps , one does not always succeed . I guess I was just to excited to create this sketch of " The Boys " that I really never paid attention on where I put their moms name . If I do not take the time to put a name in my contacts at that very moment , well it will be gone from my memory for ever, nothing really sticks , part of my damage done  by Lyme disease. 

 

Lesson learn is that I need to ask Anita for help . I am not ready to fly solo yet, hopefully some day I will be  and if not , I will learn tools to at least help me along the way to keep better records. The hard part is , that it does not take much to confuse me and I get overwhelm very easy . I try not to get frustrated or disappointed , but it is hard , I know I am not to blame, that my late stage neurological Lyme  infection has damaged parts of brain. 

The most important part of " The Boys " is how much I enjoyed sketching them . Sketching leads to painting , it opens up the same pathways in my brain , the break down of color , thoughts about composition and design . I will keep sketching and feel free to ask me if I put you in my contacts ?Help is always welcome ! 

“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” ― Pablo Picasso

I have started sweet " Stella" , only to have crashed into darkness again . It has been hard lately , lost in pain and exhaustion that can not be put into words . I miss my art , I miss that wonderful space I go to when the world vanishes and joy just flows from my soul . I miss bright colors , and the flow of paint on my brushes. I miss the smell of paint and the sound of music playing in my studio . 

“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” 

― Pablo Picasso

Reality meets Stella !

My brain lesions are still here. Yes there was a secret little voice deep down inside me hoping the MRI of my brain would be different. I have read on line , as some people heal , so do their brain . Alas , mine are all still there, damaged done . 

 

So , now I will figure out how to go forward , with cognitive issues, memory problems ,and communication issues . Words and numbers are scrambled in my brain , and are very difficult fine. As I write this blog I realize I am not giving up my fight for good health, but I will no longer let these brain lesions stop me from creating my beloved art work . Yes, this blog may take me  over a hour to write and it may not be in perfect English , but I am going to do my best to communicate with the world . 

Meet " Stella " a silver lab who lives in Florida . Stella will be my next commission . I am very excited to get back to my studio and put brush to canvas. I look forward to capturing those soulful , sweet eyes and I see a background that dances with color ....more to come !